March 30, 2008

Today was a big day. I had some things to prove to myself out there in my 10k. I’ve been so afraid of running for so long and I decided recently that I am absolutely done with creating false limits for myself on the run. No more sabotage. No more excuses. Time to face up to my fears and see what happens.

Well, if you are in the mood for an expansive and freeing experience, I highly recommend considering the possibility that you are a limitless being who is capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to. I’m not going to lie – I did not go into this race raging with confidence. But I was trying to entertain the belief that I am capable of running fast; That the only limits on my performance today would be those I imposed on myself. So I ran like hell. And when I got tired, I dug deeper and ran harder. And only when I thought I was actually going to blow up at mile 5 did I even consider letting up at all – and somehow even then I ran harder than I knew I could. Know what the result was? A PR by more than 3 minutes and by 7 minutes on that particular course. So needless to say, I’m happy with the result.
Truthfully, I cried [read: bawled] on the drive home at the realization that my dreams actually are attainable. When you hold yourself back for so long it’s really an incredible experience to let go and realize that you’re as good as you hoped and better than you’ve been allowing yourself to believe.

I feel that it is important at this time to acknowledge that (without asking her) I invoked the spirit of Marit in my race today. Every time things got tough and it started to hurt, I just thought of how Marit is the embodiment of HTFU and how much mental toughness she has shown in the past two weeks. It’s easier to run into the pain when you remember that it’s a gift to be able to run in the first place. So thanks, Marit. Your positive energy is awe-inspiring.


5 Responses to “10k”

  1. marit c-l Says:

    Congratulations!!!! YOU are the epitome of HTFU. Nice job – way to rock the course.

    And yes, I’ve gotten a bit, er, teary reading. It sounds as though you’ve really made some fantastic strides with your running – have come face-to-face with the demons within. AND YOU WON! YOU BEAT THEM!! Incredible!

    Self-doubt, fear of ourselves, sabatoge are all awful things to contend with. You have conquered (spelling?) yours. Now that you’re free, you’ll be FLYING down the courses. I have no doubt in my mind.

    Yes, Ness, your dreams are attainable. And I can’t wait to see you make them happen. Congrats again – sounds like you won in more ways than with just the pr… 🙂

  2. That is what I am talking about – HARD CORE, NESS!!!! Way to go – way to PR and beat your demons. It is going to be a great year for you!!! Wow. Congrats! 🙂

  3. your darling coach Says:

    The best part is that it only gets better from here. Hard work always pays off. Confidence comes from being both mentally and physically prepared. You’re there.

  4. Beth Says:

    Simply amazing!! Couldn’t be more happy for you that you’ve made the mental jump you need to allow the physical jump to happen. And I’m very inspired too! Way to go Ness!!

  5. Danielle Says:

    Congratulations. This post is a keeper on how to get your head “in the game”. And, what a huge improvement.
    P.S. Good luck with finding a new wedding venue!

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