The New Me

April 20, 2008

Man, I think I was awake nearly once every hour last night either having to pee or worrying that my alarm wouldn’t go off.  I left the house right on schedule at 5am and got to the race with plenty of time to set up my transition area, read through my race plan, visit the SaniKan, read through my race plan again, visit the SaniKan, warm up, and visit the SaniKan.  The weather was about 50 degrees and absolutely PERFECT for an early morning race start.

I pulled the first run off almost exactly as I had planned and managed to stay within sight of the first few girls.  The bike leg was its own special brand of hurt.  I definitely got schooled a little on my bike.  With my very bright, old, tri-colored bike I feel like a bit of a target out there on the race course but what can you do.  I think I rode a little harder just to make up for the ugliness of my bike.  As I neared the end of the bike course I seriously wondered how I was going to be able to stand up afterwards let alone run, but my legs had big plans and did not let me down.  I ran pretty well off the bike, although nothing so spectacular as to not leave room for improvement this year.  My coach had sent me a quote this morning about being prepared to give 100% if you want big returns for your efforts.  I kept that quote in my head the whole time and was really surprised to find out that I had more in me than I might have suspected.  About half way into the second run I was shoulder-to-shoulder with a woman and thinking that with hips that came up to my shoulders, she was probably going to leave me in her dust.  Then a guy came by and I just sort of clipped my imaginary caribiner to his imaginary belt loop and went with him.  Longlegs did not follow and I set about chasing down the next woman.  With half a mile to go I could almost read her number and I had a constant internal battle that went something like this:

Old me: it hurts too much.  There’s no way I can catch her.  My legs are toast.

New me: Shut up you big baby.  Are you going to go home and blog about how you let this one go?  We’re talking about a few more minutes here.  Dig in and HTFU for Pete’s sake.

Old me: I want my MOMMMMEEEEEEEE.

New Me: You need to zip it.  You’re getting closer and you can reign this one in.  You’ll be so pissed if you don’t.

Old me: WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.  painpainpainpainpain.

New Me: Oh screw you, I’m outta here.  I’ll catch you on the rebound wussie-pants.

So I went hard and I dug deep and I chased that woman down.  BUT…just as I crept up behind her I realized a sprint finish would be needed to catch her by surprise and leave her behind AND we had arrived on the grassy part in the chute AND all of a sudden I didn’t trust my legs on the grass and wimped out.  I was a little annoyed but I guess we need to have these experiences from time to time so we can learn from them.

Anyway, it was a great day overall.  I felt like I won most of the mental battle out there and that my run is coming along as I was hoping it might.  I took about 4 minutes off of last year’s time in this race, so no complaints here.  I had another good cry on the drive home just thinking about how amazing and overwhelming it is to be on track with my goals and dreams.  Life is good.  Very good.


8 Responses to “The New Me”

  1. Beth Says:

    YEAH Ness!!! Winning the mental battle is what it’s all about and it sounds like you did just that! So pleased for you to have achieved your goals and improved so much from last year. Congrats! Hope the recovery is great!! 🙂

  2. Danielle Says:

    Great job. I loved the carabiner clipping imagery–that will definitely get some use by me! Hope you recover quickly and way to go in making that third leg really count.

  3. jenharrison Says:

    YEAH NESS! NICE WORK…and the mental toughness you experienced today will pay off in droves for the rest of the season!!! Congrats!!! 🙂

  4. your darling coach Says:

    So proud of you. But I told you I expected big things. And when you expect them too – well what do you know….they happen 🙂

  5. marit c-l Says:

    Congratulations my friend! BRILLIANT! Nice job on the mental and physical part – you really nailed both. You should be so proud of yourself – I really really am.

    And – just for the record – it’s not the bike that counts (sure, carbon, nice, new, sleek, etc helps) – but its the engine, the heart of the rider that truly counts. And you clearly have what it takes. If the engine, if the heart, if the mind aren’t in the game – then the bike won’t go anywhere.

    You did GREAT kid! Hope you enjoy your victory!

  6. Candace Says:

    You’re awesome! great job! I loved your self talk. Way to push yourself.

  7. mary Says:

    way to go Ness. It’s amazing what happens when we drop that bag of SH**, drink a hot cup of HTFU with a double shot of FU strap on our running shoes and just go like hell.

    I am proud of you!

    🙂 mary

  8. alili Says:

    Great job Ness!

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