April 29, 2008

Know those times when you are just “off”?  Well I’m having one of those.  I guess it’s good that I’m getting it out of the way all at once.  Taking yesterday off from training was a good choice and I definitely felt better rested today.  Today, however, was E.MO.TION.AL.  Bigtime.  Partly hormones, I’m sure, but also some big stuff going down with my family that is hard for me.  Out of respect for them and their privacy, I will not go into details, but let’s just say I’ve been having big emotions.  Not bad ones, necessarily, but it took virtually nothing to push me over the edge to a teary place today.

So after this big day I was feeling pretty drained and wondering how I was going to rally for my track workout.  But somehow I did.  The weather was pretty unfriendly but cleared up a little when I arrived so that it was mostly wind I was dealing with and not rain which was good.  I had 20 400s to do.  My coach has been promising me this workout for a while so I was pretty psyched when I read the workout on my schedule.  During my warmup I had to dash into the bathroom with an upset stomach and I didn’t feel much better afterwards, so I knew it would be a battle out there today.  Two more visits to the bathroom and I was still pretty uncomfortable but I fought the urge to go back to my car, knowing that it’s the mentally hard workouts that count the most.  I ran pretty well in my first few 400s considering how I was feeling and how desperately I wanted to drive home.  I worked really hard to get my head in the game and by my 9th 400 things were starting to come together.  Just as I noticed my knee getting more painful.  Trying carefully to find that place in between wimping out and being stupid, I ran number 10 and then number 11.  By then I was really feeling pain so I made a deal with myself that if I could hit one more 400 on the desired interval then I could pack up and go home.  Well, I started that 400.  And stopped after 100 meters because my knee sucked.  I got totally pissed, had a temper tantrum, went back to the line, and started it again.  The same thing.  Pain, stopping, anger, punching the air.  Then I tried to start again by going in a different direction.  The same thing.  This time I got furious and just burst into tears, grabbed my bag, and limped off the track crying.

It’s one thing to have to end a workout because of pain.  But it’s REALLY frustrating to end a workout because of pain after you RALLIED like crazy to push through a huge mental block.  Anyway, what’s done is done and now I’m icing my knee and promising myself to take care of this before it becomes a bigger deal.  After reading Danielle’s blog today as well as Marit’s, I should know better than to blow this out of proportion.

I guess you can’t win ’em all.


2 Responses to “Off-Track”

  1. Candace Says:

    Good job getting through the mental block. Keep the faith! And remember RICE.

  2. Beth Says:

    Ugh…sorry to hear about the bothersome knee and the other stress going on in life. Hopefully it all mends up well soon and you can get back to feeling great! Hang in there!!! (and avoid all frostbite while icing… 😉

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