Reading the Signs

July 15, 2008

Today was insanely busy at work.  The poor dogs were home alone for many hours more than they are accustomed to being.  I felt like a terrible doggie parent when I arrived home so late from work.  But they are dogs, and dogs are generally happy to see their people no matter how long it has been.  So I was instantly forgiven and took them on a nice walk and tacked on some hanging out time outside as a bonus.

I had a brick workout tonight and I changed my mind about whether I was going to do it about three times.  Eventually I dragged myself out the door for it and almost instantly made the decision that I simply didn’t have the energy for it.  When I feel that strongly about not doing a workout, sometimes it’s not a bad thing to pay attention to the signs.  I did not feel well rested when I woke up this morning and then had such a busy day that maybe what I need most is rest.  Certainly my entire left leg is not arguing with that conclusion!

I’m at a weird place right now where I am still dealing with my old IT band issue, having pain in my ankle, and feeling completely unmotivated.  I have the opportunity to race on Sunday since my leg is clearly not fractured and I’m still not excited about it.  And I LOVE racing.  Racing on a less-than-healthy body is getting old.  Having great race times but knowing that I had limiting injuries that prevented even FASTER race times is getting old.  I love to race but it’s kind of exhausting to go out there, bust my butt, and not be able to push through to the next level.  I also have a history of sabotage, so I have to always keep that in the back of my mind as a possibility.  Am I somehow creating injuries as a safety net for myself?  The injuries are real injuries, but sometimes the mind has tremendous power over the body and I often wonder if mental doubts have a way of getting the body to cooperate by instigating genuine injuries.  I’m not sure what the answer is, but I have to sit back and go “huh” when I am having an energetic low and my body is hurting too.  Working so hard on my run early this season and really tackling some of my mental demons has been huge.  It’s very frustrating to not be able to go all the way with it and haul ass on the run during races.  Well, this is part of what makes triathlon so challenging and so exciting.  Getting all the pieces to line up and paying attention to the pieces that don’t.

Finn is currently rolling around on his back whining and trying to convince me that what I need most is to give him a belly rub.  I wish I had a video camera right now.  That dog is priceless.  What would we do without our animals to remind us that we are taking life WAY too seriously…?


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