September 26, 2008

These past few weeks have not been the best. I have been struggling with work and feeling like I’ve hit a wall. This has been a source of a great deal of frustration and angst on my part as I try to figure out what that means for my future. Yesterday I talked on the phone with my boss from ten years ago. He’s a great guy and I looked up to him a lot when we worked together. His take on the whole thing was this: When you hit a wall in life, it’s a sign that you’ve outgrown your situation. In this case you have to decide whether you need to move on, or whether you need to stay in the situation your in and recreate it so that it works for you. This perspective was incredibly helpful to me (especially yesterday when I was breaking down pretty regularly).

GB is in grad school now and doing an internship and absolutely loving it. The contrast between my feeling about my professional life and GB’s mood about grad school has been pretty significant. Although things are great between us as a couple, it’s never fun when one person comes home feeling completely beat-down and frustrated. Especially when that’s an ongoing thing.

Today was a little better. I worked hard on reshaping my thinking and tried to do things a little differently than I have been. Hopefully I can get creative and find ways to keep that up so that my work is sustainable. Although I desperately yearn for a change, I’m not sure that’s the path of least resistance at this time in my life.

Training has been virtually non-existent lately which is probably not helping things. I’m taking some ‘fun’ training time but haven’t really been maximizing the potential of that. I have plans to get moving again this weekend and am suddenly a lot more motivated now that I see a run test on the calendar for the week after next!

I have decided that I’d like to try to run a marathon next year.  I never have before and it seemed like a fun winter goal.  I’m going to race the Bermuda marathon in January.  Anyone else want to join me?  It’ll be a blast.

2 Responses to “Difficult”

  1. Marit C-L Says:

    Hey Ness – sorry that things aren’t going the way you would hope they would (wordy – I know… sorry!). But you wrote something in your blog a few weeks back that has helped me tremendously… “I’m in better shape that I was 6 weeks ago, and in 6 weeks it’ll be even better…” Or something of that sort. Hang in there kiddo – its not fun when one partner is loving life and having a great time of it, while the other is struggling. I’m thinking of you and sending good vibes! And hooray for run tests!

  2. Beth Says:

    Bummer about the whole job situation. I have no doubt that that you will make something work – whether that’s a new job or recreating the job you are already in. Hang in there! I feel like things always work out…if only we can be patient. Easier said than done right! 🙂

    Anyway, Bermuda marathon sounds awesome! You will love running a marathon. It’s such a huge sense of accomplishment when you finish!

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