Illegal

January 19, 2009

I am hereby making it illegal for anyone to talk in the shower after swimming.

Yesterday I had a great run (which to be fair, was longer and faster than it should have been but thankfully my body is letting me get away with it today) and a good ride too. I even got a little sun on my face which is a much appreciated bonus. This morning I went to the pool and put in a solid hour while the steam rose off the water and the sun came up. Afterwards, I found myself in an awkward situation. In the shower.

The showers at the pool are unfortunately open and non-private. It takes all the nerve I have to get in and I try to get out as quickly as possible. I’m just not big on public showering. But when you have to go straight to work, it beats smelling like a bucket of chemicals all day. So this morning I jumped in the shower as quickly as possible and much to my chagrin the mother of someone I went to school with decades ago also got in. I was shampooing my hair and minding my own business when she started narrating her shower: “And now I have to put soap on, and now…the hard part. It’s always difficult to wash the soap out of my crotch…”. I froze in panic. “Oh no you did not. Please tell me you did not just reference your private parts in the shower”. But on she went without a care in the world. Except of course for the issue of her crotch. Then she started squirming around trying to soap her back. She said “I have such a hard time reaching my back”. I wasn’t totally sure, but I thought she was trying to get me to help soap her back. I’m all about helping out the elderly, but that takes things just a little bit far. So, soap in my eyes, I fled the shower for the safety of my towel while the shower narration continued.
I had to laugh at myself after the fact but will nonetheless time my swim on Wednesday so that I don’t have to endure another rendition of “Once Upon A Shower”!

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2 Responses to “Illegal”

  1. Bri Gaal Says:

    ahahahahahahaha! That is SO awkward! It definitely seems like the older the woman, the more likely she is to prance around butt naked in the locker room doing something embarrassing. I would hate having to shower right in the open like that, too, but I do love your stories šŸ˜‰

  2. Danielle Says:

    Oh my, that’s all I can say. Run, Ness, run!


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