February 21, 2009

Well, things have happened since I last blogged…

I flew to Minnesota and spent 10 days with GB and the dogs.  It was really wonderful to be with them again.  It took GB and I a couple of days to get back in the groove – funny how you change a little just from being apart from 6 weeks – but once we did it was like that time apart had never happened.  It was a big relief to both of us that it was that easy to settle back into life together.  Of course, it was a little bit of a tease since I am back on the island now and GB is still in Minnesota.  We’ll be reunited again in April for a week so we’re already looking forward to that.

For the first few days at the cabin, GB’s siblings were there so I got to fulfill my childhood dream of playing boot hockey with a bunch of people who were as willing as me to pretend they were five years old.  We got in one day of skate skiing but then it rained.  And rained.  And rained.  So all the snow disappeared and that was my last day of skiing for the year.

On my last day there I met with my new employer (the one I was supposed to start working for in September in MN).  It’s a fabulous little school and I was a perfect fit for it and very excited about it.  However, it seems they are suffering financially and may in fact not be able to open.  With me not being American and needing fancy things like work visas, I have had to make the difficult choice and start looking for different jobs.  This hit both me and GB like a mack truck.  I was so glad we were together for this discovery so that we could process it together and come up with a plan B – well truthfully, I think we’re on Plan G by now!

So I am back on the Island applying for jobs here for next September.  Which means that GB and I will have to spend not only the first, but also the second year of our married life apart.  I can barely think about this without crying, but I’m trying to keep some perspective and remember to be thankful that I have someone as amazing as GB to miss this much!

In the meantime I will also apply for jobs in MN but the likelihood of finding something that meets all the requirements of my visa etc. is slim at best for this year.  If I stay here next year I’ll save up and then go to grad school the following year.  This puts all of our life plans on major hold, but it’s all the name of a life together in the long term.

Lots of people in our lives are very angry on our behalf about our situation.  Certainly it seems unfair that we don’t have the same rights as heterosexual couples.  We were talking about it on the phone last night and while we appreciate the support of our loved ones, we personally don’t have the energy to be angry about it.  It is what it is.  Fifty years ago we could not have been open about our relationships.  Ten years ago we could not have been legally married in ANY state.  Two years ago my parents would not have attended our wedding.  We are very lucky to have supportive friends and family and we will get through this with their help.  Everyone has their trials, and I suppose this is ours.  We have each found our perfect match and we don’t have to be in the same room or even the same country to feel the magic of that.


3 Responses to “Thankful”

  1. Beth Says:

    Oh Ness – sorry to hear about the job situation. You have such a great attitude though, even though I’m sure it’s very hard for you guys. Keep you chin up – I’m really hoping something works out soon!

  2. marit c-l Says:

    Oh – I’m so sorry. I know what it’s like to be apart from your Other Half, and it’s really difficult. This makes me so sad – the two of you deserve happiness, deserve to be together, to spend your lives with each other. I wish there was something that I could do…but I’m thinking of you both, sending lots of love and good vibes your way. Hang in there – like Beth said – keep your chin up! Something WILL happen, good things are in your future, I just know it! I’m thinking of you guys… fingers and toes crossed!

  3. angie Says:

    Hey Ness, still thinking about you here in western mass and although sucky you both will get through this–Your reflection is priceless and true. A giant hug and blessings to you both…

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