February 3, 2010

I always thought it was “tenderhooks” but I looked it up to be sure…

Anyway, GB and I are on tenterhooks.  We are waiting, waiting, waiting, to find out if I got accepted into graduate school and whether we will be reunited again in September.  We have managed this last year apart very well and have learned to adapt to a marriage grounded in email, video chat, and occasional visits.  But let’s be honest, we’d like to wake up in the same bed and eat breakfast at the same table again. 

It’s a weird thing, this waiting.  I’m finding it so difficult to be present in my life without constant email checking and constantly wondering.  Nonetheless, I am trying to go about my life knowing that whatever the result, it doesn’t mean my life or my marriage is over.  It just means we need to get creative again.  And if we have demonstrated anything this year, I’d say it’s that we are creative and flexible, both as individuals and as a couple.

It’s not only the moving back to Minnesota piece either.  I am SUPER psyched to go back to school.  I get crazy just thinking about how much fun it will be.  When GB is stressed out over a paper, I’m that jerk whose going “I’m so ENVIOUS of you!”.  GB thinks I’m nuts, but let’s face it, as a young child I already knew I wanted to “go to school forever”.  Besides, it really frees up the daytime training hours for triathlon!

I’m supposed to be heading out the door now for a 60 degree swim without my wetsuit.  BUT it’s raining and I have to jump on my little moped and ride down to the dock and I am just not feeling it in the cold, rainy dark.  So I am off to the gym instead.  I have to at least do SOMETHING this morning to make another day of waiting just a little bit more bearable…


One Response to “Tenterhooks”

  1. hi NESS! I came over to check up on you! Glad you and G are good – and good luck finding out about school. I swear, you are RIGHT it is the waiting!!! Fingers crossed for you. HOPE you are super.

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